Life. Worth. Living. An intimate conversation with our Interim President Sherry Swift

In recognition of March as Women’s History Month, it’s critical we take the time to elevate women who have fearlessly blazed their own trails, shown true leadership, and demonstrated courage, compassion, and candor while doing so.

Real Pride’s Interim President Sherry Swift is one such inspirational, unforgettable woman who’s   transformed her tragedy and struggle into triumph and success. As a licensed realtor turned business and performance coach, CEO of Swift Transitions, bestselling author of Grow Into Yourself, and keynote speaker, Sherry Swift exemplifies the kind of woman who’s fought long and hard for her right to be heard, the kind of woman who won’t take no for an answer—luckily for the rest of the world. 

We sat down with Swift to hear more about how her experiences and personal philosophy has impacted her professional trajectory, paving the way for new opportunities where her leadership and insights shine.

Sherry Swift has been a licensed realtor since 1999. After seven years in the business, she underwent a “natural transition” and shifted her focus towards coaching and training in the industry instead. Swift became John Maxwell certified in 2006 and would go on to receive her DiSC certification among countless other educational stepping stones she’s traversed since, calling herself a lifelong learner who’s constantly on the lookout for the next opportunity to upgrade and enrich her playbook. 

At the moment, Swift’s clientele is about 70 percent realtors, brokers, and teams who work with her to build and scale sustainable business models, with the other 30 percent consisting of everything from the travel industry to the car industry, the healthcare industry, entrepreneurs and other small businesses and startup companies. She believes what differentiates herself from others is her willingness to forge meaningful, synergistic partnerships with clients and consequently drive real change and results.

But what’s most commanding about Sherry Swift’s leadership stems not from her professional power plays, but her personal story.

Tragedy first struck Swift a few decades ago, when her Father and Mother died three days apart. This unexpected, traumatic loss tore through their family personally and publicly, and it was here where she came to a crossroads between what kind of person she could be, and what kind of person she would be.

“It was one of those moments in your life where you either make a decision that you are going to 100% lose yourself [and] no one would even be mad at you if you ever did, because of what you've been through, orwhere you receive an assignment to become who you're supposed to be,” reflects Swift.

“That's when I really started leaning into the idea that I think I'm supposed to be helping other people.”

And help people she has. Sherry Swift’s story is one she tells with sincerity, humility, and courage. Though the road was by no means straight and narrow, Swift’s intention to live with an open and honest heart has granted her the ability to meet people where they are so that their own growth can blossom from within. 

Q: What pushed you to take this direction? 

What I tell people all the time is that there's two days I believe we're born: I believe that we're born on the day that our parents, our mom gives birth to us, and then I think we're born on the day that we actually figure out what we're supposed to be doing as a result of something we've experienced.

So that was my day. I had to go through some darkness and some difficulty, but I realized on the other side of all that, that there was purpose behind it, and I'm supposed to help other people maneuver through those kinds of things.

Q: Did you have others helping you? Were you getting coached or counselled yourself,  did you have any mentors? 

Here's what I had: I had a breakdown. You hear people say “break down, break through”...I grew up in a very religious family, and I completely fell out with God. I was pissed off and thinking “I don’t understand how out of [everything] I've learned...that you allow something like this to happen to these amazing people.” 

And so for so many years, for so much time, I was just disconnected from everything that I thought I knew about myself. It took one of my mother's really good friends to hand me a book and say to me, “you need to melt down what's happened to you and wear it like it's a medal. There's something that you're supposed to get from all of this. It's happening for you, it's not happening to you.” And that was Purpose Driven Life. From that understanding I started studying, started reading, started meditating and redefining...started really feeling comfortable in my own skin and recognizing that my journey was 100 percent an opportunity to be able to help other people through difficult things. 

So as much as I'm a real estate coach, and a productivity and production coach, I help people through growth and tragedy and change. And that's the work that I really love to do: help people move through things.

Q: What differentiates you from others in this field? 

I love my clients. I love my partnerships. You know, there's a lot of people that say “You're not supposed to be deep in relationship with your people”, and I don't know how to do that. I don't have these peripheral relationships. They're a part of who I am; I'm a part of who they are. And because I have experienced some things and I've lived a bit, I'm bringing a whole life experience to growth. 

I believe that we all grow from the inside out—so it's impossible to grow professionally if you don't know who you are personally. And it's impossible to grow personally and have that not impact your professional growth. So from a coaching perspective, I intertwine in my clients lives very uniquely unlike a lot of other people. We talk about everything, and I move with them like I'm in their DNA through every part of their life...we're in a partnership.

Q: Without giving away all of your secrets, is there any sort of general advice or patterns or tricks in terms of pushing people to the next stage and getting them past where they were at?

It’s all about transparency. When people are ready for growth, they don't mind allowing somebody else in to see where they are. I tell people all the time: the reason why others can't help you is because when people ask you how you're doing, you say “I'm great, I'm fine”. But you're not really great. And you're not really fine.

If you happen to be on the other side of somebody who actually can help you, then you've just opened up a door to your next best self. You’ve got to let go of these false barriers that are only designed to project yourself as perfection, which nobody is. Allow[ing] other people to really see you...gives the right person the opportunity to change you. I think that's why my clients and I work together so well–they let me in. I say no to people who aren't ready for that. They have to be ready for growth. They have to be ready for transparency. And if they're not, it's not going to work. 

Indeed, the values of transparency and authenticity for Sherry Swift have been integral to her journey of becoming—a lesson she had to learn herself when she realized her marriage did not espouse those qualities. Rather, marrying her husband had been a response to the tragedy at hand, a “safe and fast decision” which required even more courage to own up to and come out the other side of. 

Yet despite the hardship entailed, Swift feels beyond blessed to have three beautiful children  from the situation, and her decision to get real ultimately led her to her wife Tina. The two have been together for more than a decade since, and Swift reports that nothing brings her more joy than the life they’ve carved out together and the moments they take to reflect, refuel, and replenish themselves so they can keep bringing their best to the table. 

Q: What else helped you get past those obstacles? 

A lot of still time. I had to sit down inside of myself and face my demons and not be afraid or ashamed of who I am. I remember I went on a retreat for coaches, and I was still halfway to where I needed to be in order to do what I really wanted to do. One of the exercises was to break a board...to write on the board something that you need to break through. I wrote on the board–and I still have the board in my office here at home–I wrote on the board “transparency”. Transparency for my tragedy so that it can help other people. 

That day, when I wrote that on the board and then broke through it, it was like, okay—you need to share this with people. It's nothing that was done to you, you didn't do this; this does not make you less-than; you don't need to be embarrassed. That was literally and physically a huge breakthrough for me, because when things happen to us and around us in life, we have a tendency to take occupancy of those things, and we become embarrassed and ashamed of them, and we don't want to talk about them. And in turn, they kind of hold us hostage as opposed to being what they're supposed to be, which is leverage.

Q: What is your proudest moment?

Here’s the thing, I’ve had a journey so full of so many amazing experiences. Now I am in absolute bliss with three beautiful children and an amazing wife who fill my bucket every day!  The fact that my children—who've brought me so much pleasure as I've watched them evolve and grow into the adults they are now—and my wife and furbabies are all happy, that makes me proud.  And then, I think the decision that I made to step into the light and to be who I am, and to love my wife and to live the life that I was really intended to live, would have to be ranked right up there with that. I believe that the more transparent we are, the more we give permission for other people to live an open and whole and transparent life.

Q: What makes you feel alive?

My wife, our friendship. I have three beautiful dogs. I have two Shih Tzus and a teacup Yorkie...so they make me feel alive. Everything that I get to do. You know, everything. I'm at a point in my life where I'm like, everything makes me feel alive, you know? And I just appreciate it all. I really do.

Sherry Swift’s acceptance and celebration of her sexuality has been foundational to her resulting success, and her emphasis on transparency guides how she directs others in the industry who similarly struggle with self-identifying in certain ways. 

That’s not to say everyone who works with her is aware of her intersectional identity as a Black woman in a same-sex partnership—she frequently finds herself rubbing up against stereotypical conceptions of how others expect her to look, think, and act. All too often, people try to salvage their antiquated worldviews by declaring her “different” from the rest. 

But Swift is quick to nip those fallacies in the bud, especially given the current sociopolitical climate. 

Q: Unfortunately the world we live in is not exactly egalitarian. What sort of moments challenged you in the last year, and conversely, how did you push back?

2020 was one of the most difficult years that I've ever experienced. I take care of people for a living, and so to watch some of these people that I’ve taken care of at some point..to watch them show up on social media with such hate and disdain around topics that were very sensitive to me, was heartbreaking. There was a lot that I had to personally move through...I was reminded of my belief system so many times last year just because there were so many opportunities to be disappointed, and so many people turned out to be something I didn't think they were. But everyone is the sum result of their experiences and their exposure or lack of exposure, right? 

So if I turn away from everyone who doesn't think like me, I am missing out on my opportunity to influence other people's limited thinking. It's been a great opportunity to utilize my breath and my influence because so many people look at me and they're like, “Oh, I would have never thought you were lesbian, oh, I didn't know you were black. I would have never thought…”. You know, they look at me and they're like, “you are–but you're different.” 

No, I'm not different. I'm the same. And if you can love me and support me and my wife, and me and my color, and me and my culture inside of me, then you've got to be able to look beyond me and think about what it is about everyone else that makes you so uncomfortable. I think our ability to change people is through one-on-one conversations, not on pedestals with a bullhorn. You realize and see how other people are directly impacted by your limited thinking and beliefs. And then all of a sudden the light bulb comes on. 

Q: What gives you hope moving forward? 

I was extremely hopeful when I saw all the people who were so obviously disgusted and upset by what happened to George Floyd. When I saw all the people pouring out into the street, different colors and different cultures coming together [saying] it’s over, We're done with this, this is not acceptable anymore...when we all pour out into the street, red, blue, Republican, Democrat, because there's a new person coming into office...that exhale demonstrated by everyone, that gives me hope. People are still getting excited and upset. And wherever people still show up as excited or upset, there's hope that exists there, because they're still feeling. it's when people stop feeling that it doesn’t matter anymore.

Q: Any advice for new queer realtors or brokers? 

Realtors: Be Yourself. We attract what we reflect, so if you want to work with people who are open-minded, who appreciate your lifestyle and your sexuality and who you are, reflect that. You don't ever have to try to be something else, because ultimately that does not pay off. So be yourself: be yourself in your branding, be yourself in your marketing, be yourself in your consultations, be yourself. Because guess what, depending on your income goal, you probably only need about thirty transactions a year in order to live the kind of lifestyle you want. You don't have to match everybody. And then what you'll find is that your business will evolve and continue to grow based on those people referring more of those kinds of people to you. 

Brokers and people running real estate companies: make space so that everyone can see themselves at the table. We all have to hold ourselves accountable to the idea of tradition. Are we setting a table where everybody can see themselves at that table, so that they see growth potential and opportunity for themselves? If you don't have someone that looks like her and looks like him, or looks like them–if you don't have somebody like that at the table, then they don't feel welcome at that table, which means your future is not solid. Create opportunities for people that aren’t just like you.

Sherry Swift’s commitment to cultivating inclusivity “at the table” is made especially clear given her involvement with Real Pride Network. Alongside writing a second book and working on an upcoming project geared towards young women going through transitional stages in life, Sherry’s role as RPN’s Interim President has focused on giving back to the LGBTQ+ community while reinvigorating queer-coded networks with those same principles of transparency, authenticity, diversity, and empowerment that radiate throughout all of her professional and personal practices.  

When it comes to her vision for the future of RPN, Swift is adamant about emboldening bottom-up participation. She notes that the key to moving forward and making a lasting impact is to continue to get people involved in as many ways possible. It’s critical that members feel their voices have been heard, and that they’ve had a direct hand in shaping the kind of organization they want to be a part of. 

In other words, Swift sees the organization as one best run by the people, for the people. 

Q: How did you get involved with RPN? 

I said to my wife a couple of years ago [that] there's work I need to do in our community–our community being the LGBTQ+ community. There's work I need to do here, and I don't know what it is yet, but I know that there's something that's going to come forward, there's going to be a project that's going to give me the opportunity to give back. And so this was it...it's been amazing, it's been fantastic getting to know everybody. And I think that through the ashes of some of the disappointment in past systems, a beautiful new mechanism has been born, and people are finding their footing and their space to operate inside of it.

Q:  Do you have a vision for RPN, or any future directions that you feel strongly about? 

I think this has the DNA, the foundation, and the ability to become the space and place where people in our community feel empowered to come in and interact. I see so much opportunity there. I think what's going to be so amazingly different about this is that it's going to be empowered by the people participating in it, as opposed to just one or two people from the top. It's really everyone grabbing their corner, and that's what I want for this organization. I want to not know what's happening in every corner of our organization—like, please don't tell me all of it. I want to know there's people who are capable of doing it...that’s when it's really empowered and able to realize its full potential. 

I think if we continue to do that, there’s going to be this beautiful machine that's the result of so many different personalities and preferences as opposed to just driven by one person.

It is 100% bottom-up. It's 100% inclusive. And it's 100% about empowerment. If you have a voice and you want to use it, you should–this is a good place for you to be. Because we're not going to ask you to have 600 qualifiers to use your voice. We're going to trust that you have a voice, and we're going to let you use it. That's where you find real talent and real heart. 

As we look to celebrate the women who dare make a difference this month, it’s important we shine the spotlight on Sherry. As an esteemed, energetic professional with a powerful story of personal growth, transformative change, and persistence through tragedy, Sherry Swift embodies the kind of leadership this world needs more of. 

Q: Any last thoughts? 

I just want to let people know that it is my absolute honor to represent this organization. I want to invite in whole people—W-H-O-L-E—who can contribute a piece of themselves to this organization, and then we’ll have a whole organization that can give back to the community. 

So if you are a whole person that is looking for an opportunity to give to yourself, to give away from yourself, and to have your voice be heard, then we want to invite you in to be a part of this.